How Did We Get Here?... And Our responsibility in Social Media

I am angry and I am worried. Recently on Twitter there was a tweet that said " IM IN BLUE FLAME SLAPPIN STRIPPERS ASS AS HARD AS I CAN FOR $20"  followed shortly by " IM DEAD WRONG FOR TWEETIN WHILE SOMEBODY DAUGHTER GIVIN ME A LAP DANCE". This particular Tweeter was a comedian but for me that was not an excuse and I'll explain why.  

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, moving past the years when I wouldn't think twice to dance to rap lyrics such as "It ain't no fun unless the homies can have some" or participate in sexual exploitive sketches that at the time I perceived as "funny".  Or maybe because I see numerous reports on "Where have all the good men gone" and why woman (in particular Black women) aren't getting married because our pool of men is so small.  I don't think I'm pushing to say that there has to be some correlation with the misogynist and childlike outlook that many of our men have. 

I will, however, also be fair and put some responsibility on us women. I recently had a conversation with my friend Dee about Amber Rose. I was saying how surprised I was at how Amber came across on Twitter- gracious and sweet. Dee immediately shut all that down saying women like Amber disgusted her, using solely her body to make a living and rise in the ranks of celebrity.  And not just using the video girls, she discussed women that she knows in her field that have used their body or assets to rise in the ranks. ( I will throw out a disclaimer here and state I don't know where these woman came from, nor their story on doing what they felt like they had to do. But irregardless, it's not the direction I want to see continue on.)

So I have been pondering on these two sides and wondering, when did all this begin? Clearly I need to do some research, but I am curious to know how did we go from the understanding that it will take a partnership to build a life together, strength in numbers to work through the pain that racism, discrimination, and poverty gave way to.  To today- where woman are "bitches and ho's",  video girls with their asses out (literally) are plastered not only on videos but all over social media, and slapping stripper's asses' as hard as possible is seen as acceptable and cool.


The argument some may have is, well they're video girls, or they're just strippers. But that's bullshit. My argument is that we don't have enough role models to excuse and publicize this behavior. It's embarrassing and sad to me. Of course there are strong partnerships out there, but there are not enough. And of course there are amazing men out there  - please recognize that I know that (I know plenty of them).  But we need more. 

 I am asking for responsibility and accountability people. Social media is taking over. Our kids see it, do we really want to breed our male children into thinking that their women are there to be ogled, slapped and worthless but for sexual purposes? Do we want to breed our female children into thinking it's solely their body that gives them their worth- in particular, the size of their asses?

It's exhausting. Now as I write this, I am now regretting that this sounds like a wagging of the finger. I now am pleading, begging for us to think about who we are, where we came from and what legacy we want to leave behind. I beg you women to think before you stick your asses out as far as possible in that glossy photo, and I ask you men to please think before you throw out your sexual adventures and base tweets all over the internet.

I am truly hoping for the best.

Oh, My Mind

Is it better to ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to or stay in happy ignorance bliss. I recently picked up The Power of Now and realize I am a truly compulsive thinker. My thoughts can harm me as I overthink everything. 


I am striving to become more easy-going, but it's hard because my mind is constantly going back and forth , weighing every issue, every possible outcome. If I were to decide to stay in happy ignorance would I be hurt as often? confused? angry? Would decisions be easier to make? 


I recently tweeted that "Life is full of surprises and how you handle them is what builds your character." I have the understanding that life really is a gift, that you can choose how to live, to be happy or to be sad, angry, etc.  I want to choose to be happy, though my harmful thinking habits are hard to break. I'm blessed with amazing people in my life from all walks of life. I live in a truly wonderful environment, I am so lucky to be pursuing what I want to do professionally. The only problem is my overactive mind.  


I truly do envy people that live without attachment, that have such a strong trust in the universe and their God that they know no matter what things will work out. I do think I know that overall, but when you're stuck in the middle of something so unexpected, scary, the inclination is "I want to know now".  I am hoping that The Power of Now will aid me. I am so uncertain, but I maybe it's time to let go of my old ways, to be okay with being uncertain.